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FMLs submitted from Hawaii

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (11260)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21608) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML

#12929615
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (2392)

On 09/06/2010 at 4:35am - love - by mlove (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend of a over a year broke up with me. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't written him a long letter about how much I love him, and that I'm so glad we're together and so glad that he promised he would always be there. He'll be getting it in a few days. FML

#12809670
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (2982)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by love_letter (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML

#9134899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (2551)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:14pm - love - by KMAC (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML

#7024040
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6566) - you deserved it (21240)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by lala456 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I gave my wife her anniversary card. She started to giggle then walked in our bedroom and came back with the exact same card from last year. This is the second time I've done this. FML

#6881233
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (27784)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by todayJman03 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML

#6680637
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7948) - you deserved it (31320)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML

#6660369
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (3032)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:02am - kids - by ClothMom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

#6338565
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5038) - you deserved it (48074)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by xYumix - United States (Hawaii)



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