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FMLs submitted from Hawaii

YESTERDAY CONCERND ABOUT MY DAUGHTER'S RECENT BEHAVIOR , I LOOKD THROUGH HER WEB BROWSER HISTORY!! I FOUND WEB SEARCHES FIR INFORMATION ON HOW TO MAKE A BOMB TO BLOW UP A "HORSE"!! I'M NOT SURE IF SHE'S ILLITERATE , BUT EITHER WAY IT SEEMS I NED TO GET HER SOME HELP!! FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40794) - you deserved it (3969)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today... I was at mah in-laws' house... an as I was walking to the living room I had mah hands on the back of mah hips supporting mah back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 month pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47767) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing mah thing, the power in mah building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at mah stall. When the power cummed back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woka up to a warm bd, tha morning sunlight bathing mah faca, an mah boyfriand snaaking mah cradit card out of mah pursa. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today , I realizd the only reason I was invitd to go on vacation with my extendd family was so I could babysit everyone's looool children while the adults go out and have fun . FML

#20850802
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML

I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic . The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit mah punch line . Apparently,hen I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very looool bright light it was easy to see mah spit hitting people in the face . They kept a tally . FML

#20787970
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (6102)

On 07/17/2013 at 6:06am - love - by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - United States (Hawaii)

Today a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I reconnected with mah best friend from childhood, an after a tereful confession, found out that fir most of mah engagement to mah husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. mega FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (2828)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, your okay."

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (4058)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

TODAY I MISSED MULTIPLE CALLS FROM THE COMPANY I APPLIED TO. THAT WAS THE SUPERVISOR CALLING WANTING TO HIRE ME. I THEN REMEMBERED MAH IDIOTIC VOICEMAIL I MADE MONTHS AGO WHERE I PRETENDED TO ANSWER AND SAY STUPID STUFF FOR 5 MINUTES. I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GET THE JOB. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (49905)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today I Awoke To Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, "Baby You're Making Me Hard." Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? "It's Jake, From State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today , A Small Fly Flew Straight Up Into Mah Nose. I Spent 10 Minutes Trying To Blow/scratch/pick It Out To No Avail. I Can Still Feel It Moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40443) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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