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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Gloucestershire

Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

#17214769 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (4546)

On 07/22/2011 at 6:51am - kids - by TKDConnor92 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (15065) - you deserved it (6801)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (16344) - you deserved it (14364)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (1868)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (10753)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (31179)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (14659) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (1599)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

#7187535 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18238) - you deserved it (1118)

On 01/06/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by VictimofLaw (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (5845) - you deserved it (13573)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)