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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (2265)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

#18159889
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (14218)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (5261)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64013) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

#17910918
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (4817)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (4453)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having saved up my money for months to buy my college-bound son the car of his dreams, I got a phone call telling me it had been totalled during a drag-race. I only gave him the keys two days ago. FML

#17809481
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28485) - you deserved it (12665)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:08pm - misc - by disappointed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

#17756781
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (5424)

On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (3216)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (11469)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29841) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)



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