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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (3500)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (1761)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8781) - you deserved it (25463)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

#19408949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12914) - you deserved it (17866)

On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (1733)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6151) - you deserved it (43497)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9403) - you deserved it (32666)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

#19122555
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8866) - you deserved it (30060)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:36pm - love - by WTA (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (3047)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried about a previous partner. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness, but I'd be even more grateful if we hadn't already slept together several times. FML

#19036366
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (6466)

On 02/09/2012 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by nosymptoms (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (6324)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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