Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (2341)
On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (10241)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14685) - you deserved it (30776)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (1639)
On 09/06/2011 at 1:56am - misc - by Mattador - United States (Georgia)
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (2409)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2110)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14715) - you deserved it (5529)
On 08/28/2011 at 4:10pm - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2314)
On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12196) - you deserved it (31253)
On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (1617)
On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (1770)
On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (1950)
On 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (6806)
On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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