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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

#19687702
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (3710)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

#19602303
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (1745)

On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

#19504402
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6166) - you deserved it (17767)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (3323)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14973) - you deserved it (1150)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7618) - you deserved it (22494)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

#19408949
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10174) - you deserved it (14940)

On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (1468)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5357) - you deserved it (40264)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (5591)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (30704)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

#19122555
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8051) - you deserved it (27872)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:36pm - love - by WTA (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)



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