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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (7215)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (5177)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (7706)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33409) - you deserved it (2051)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (3457)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (2635)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (5804)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (21100)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (9107)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (2753)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32786) - you deserved it (3742)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40332) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (1772)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)



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