FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

by thefatnurse / 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML

by killme / 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

by stressed / 10/12/2014 at 2:40am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

by NotDarkKnight / 10/07/2014 at 8:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

by healthfreak / 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

by porkabye / 08/02/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

by dealtit / 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy