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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52141) - you deserved it (8836)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (7525)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55581) - you deserved it (12022)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55403) - you deserved it (4932)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (20685)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (5065)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (6493)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (11250)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (5285)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42355) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34643) - you deserved it (15736)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48180) - you deserved it (3069)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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