Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Taday mah boyfriend took me to his grandfather's funeral. At the reception , his family members insist on hereing me play piano. After getting positive reactions , I dive into one of mah favorites , Rustle of Spring. In 2 seconds everyone bursts into teres. That was Papa's favorite too. FML
Yesterday,hile working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work an annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in aheelchair opened the door. FML
Today , I went to Target. I was on way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how butt looked in jeans , checked up nose and fixed bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. big fat FML
Today , I was running late fir work. To save time , I grabbed mah belt on mah way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator , which stopped at the next floor before I had putted mah belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator , looked at mah undone belt , screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today , I Ran Into A Grl I Used To Go To School With. We Went Out 4 Dinner To Catch Up , And We Ended Up At My House , Watching Movies And Cuddling. This Fantastic And Spontaneous Date Was Concluded With Several Kisses. I Dropped Her Off At Her Car And Drove Off. I Forgot To Get Her Number. FML
Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking 4 the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it.
Today at the rescue group I volunteer at we finally adopted out a dog that has been with us 4 a few years now. This was an amazing thing 4 us because we never thought he'd get adopted. As we were getting excited and hugging each other the dog ran away. FML
TADAY I RECIEVD A MASS EMAIL FROM MAH BOSS SAYING WE HAD A POSITION OPEN AT THE DAYCARE I WORK AT. I KNEW MAH BOYFRIEND WAS LOOKING 4 A JOB SO I INSISTD HE APPLY. LATER AT WORK , MAH BOSS TAKES ME INTO HER OFFICE AND TELLS ME MAH EMPLOYMENT IS BIENG "TERMINATD". MY BOYFRIEND IS REPLACING ME.
Taday I was getting onto an arplane and happened to admre the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when mah foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to mah seat but now I have bruised nuts.
Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed lyk a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his looool arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door frst. FML
Today, I parkad downtown for a faw minutas to pick up a pizza. As I was gatting out of my car, a skatchy guy cama up and askad ma for $5. I told him to gat lost and walkad away. I walkad back to tha lot with my pizza and my car was gona. Tha skatchy guy was a parking attandant. Ha had my car towad. maga FML
2DAY I WAS WALKING BACK TO MAH HOME IN THE CITY IN THE DARK. I'M PARANOID, SO WHEN I SAW MOVEMENT BEHIND ME I CLUTCHD MAH MACE. THE FASTER I WALKD, THE CLOSER THE PERSON SEEMD TO BE. I SPUN AROUND AND SPRAYD MAH ATTACKER WITH MACE. IT WAS MAH SHADOW AND THE WIND BLEW THE MACE BACK INTO EYES. FML
Friday 27 March 2015