Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67256) - you deserved it (32722)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (5632)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48164) - you deserved it (11048)
On 03/11/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by EFFED4LIFE (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48591) - you deserved it (11353)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (78923)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61555) - you deserved it (2173)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66726) - you deserved it (6339)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (11709)
On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7273) - you deserved it (30510)
On 02/25/2009 at 6:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (3392)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:00pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (3146)
On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (20212)
On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (1623)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by bm (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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