FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

by nobffs / 01/01/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

by fuckbio / 12/12/2009 at 12:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

by ohcrap / 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an early Christmas gift from my boyfriend of ten months. It was soap. In a few days he will be receiving his very expensive specialized car horn he has wanted for years, while I will be enjoying my new bar of Walmart brand soap, which has already begun to give me a rash. FML

by soapysoap / 12/10/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

by bleeding / 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

by someonesomething / 12/05/2009 at 6:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

by anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

by Fmyapp / 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

by PntsLessWonder / 11/30/2009 at 11:53pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Love