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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

#3664691
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17759) - you deserved it (65099)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:13am - intimacy - by crazyt446 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML

#3603411
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48306) - you deserved it (3345)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51951) - you deserved it (8047)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40779) - you deserved it (21552)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

#3484345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53799) - you deserved it (5182)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the mans house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

#3465989
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43833) - you deserved it (5191)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Hayls5 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up and decided to get the morning paper, I went outside with my bath robe on and when I leaned down to get my paper my bath robe came undone. Apparently everyone on my street saw it and decided to bring up public nudity at the next neighborhood meeting. FML

#3457925
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33122) - you deserved it (8758)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Embarresedguy (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (98490)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

#3423786
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (12768)

On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55851) - you deserved it (8574)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML

#3130305
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52884) - you deserved it (9984)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61333) - you deserved it (3510)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

#3088891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (15585)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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