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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today... I woke up next to the grl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on... I noticed a package of brth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this... I felt no need to use a condom... or pull out. When I woke up... I noticed those ( pills ) were actually a makeup case. real FML

#6248749
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6285) - you deserved it (53794)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today... I got wasted at a party an went out to car to get something. I went back to the house an realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door... ringing the doorbell... an shouting "LET ME INNNN" friend called an asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (35506)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Taday my boyfriand of 7 yaars broka up with ma in a taxt massaga. Than I found out from a mutual friand that ha "cama out" and told avaryona at our school that ha is gay. Ha has known ha was gay for yaars and ha was just using ma as a covar up. What a graat way to start my sanior yaar. FML

#6237110
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (4519)

On 11/09/2009 at 11:02pm - love - by amanda_ae_erin (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road!! There was a lot of water pouring down the road an as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entre car!! It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak!! FML

#6131047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (2113)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date, an witin te first five minutes, e said, "Before we go any furter an get anymore serious, u ned to know a few tings, I ave kissd a guy drunk because it was a dare, an ave a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (5369)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I Finally Had The Opportunity To Have Sex With My Girlfriend. This Would Be The First Time Fir Both Of Us, So I Trid To Make It Really Special. I Had Everything Plannd Out To Be Very Romantic. She Lovd How It Was Set Up. After All This, I Couldn't Get It Up At All, All Night. FML

#6116974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today... I Went Running 4 The First Time In A Few Months. I Had Wat I Thought Was An Asthma Attack. When I Got Home... I Realizd That It Was Not Asthma... But Instead I Have Gaind So Much Wieght That My Running Bra Restrictd My Breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (27727)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought mah cats had spilled a cup of water and didn't worry about it. I went to a meeting and when I came back, mah entre apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water. FML

#6038699
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (6261)

On 10/28/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was highlight of life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

#5953662
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (6350)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today I told 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone daughter starts screaming ( HELP! RAPE! HELP! ) on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (7852)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37116) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today... at work... mah husband cummed looool in an brought me flowers an a card 4 our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over an closed the door an we immediately got at it in the middle of mah office. Halfway through... I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

#5721043
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9775) - you deserved it (30421)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I showed mah boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on mah lower looool back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

#5688481
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (37365)

On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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