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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36965) - you deserved it (6465)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44456) - you deserved it (10900)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50858) - you deserved it (5267)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42172) - you deserved it (2338)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (15677)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46726) - you deserved it (2946)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39468) - you deserved it (23963)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (88668)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45116) - you deserved it (8295)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43775) - you deserved it (5320)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45490) - you deserved it (2962)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52046) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)



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