Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

#6482336
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (9114)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (7084)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

#6441818
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (32718)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML

#6332669
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (2016)

On 11/16/2009 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and legitimately broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

#6280011
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:43pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

#6248749
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (53443)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6096) - you deserved it (33898)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

#6237110
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (4416)

On 11/09/2009 at 11:02pm - love - by amanda_ae_erin (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

#6131047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2102)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (5155)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

#6116974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (4374)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: