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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (2165)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6933) - you deserved it (26321)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59032) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (4754)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (6682)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

#12495310
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (3044)

On 08/13/2010 at 5:11am - love - by starley (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML

#12487392
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25067) - you deserved it (3050)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (40368)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML

#9205385
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16436) - you deserved it (20789)

On 03/19/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8950) - you deserved it (35398)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (6094)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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