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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

#13433594
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (30275)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

#13324993
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32036) - you deserved it (8018)

On 10/05/2010 at 12:47am - love - by June - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

#13138405
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (8617)

On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (6736)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (7367)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (2106)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6906) - you deserved it (26237)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58833) - you deserved it (3047)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (4747)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (6673)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

#12495310
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37421) - you deserved it (3042)

On 08/13/2010 at 5:11am - love - by starley (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML

#12487392
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (3040)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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