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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

#14117268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (1773)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:08am - work - by jessefonsexy. (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (8807)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML

#13902847
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

#13837654
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (21558)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

#13813299
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (4401)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:06am - love - by Samipearl - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

#13805419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (3252)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

#13537704
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (38981)

On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

#13457118
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (5327)

On 10/15/2010 at 9:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

#13433594
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (28597)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (4361)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

#13324993
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (7810)

On 10/05/2010 at 12:47am - love - by June - United States (Georgia)



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