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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (3356)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (11532)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (2816)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

#17606157
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (7736)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:10pm - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16697) - you deserved it (44021)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

#17102517
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (1952)

On 07/14/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by j1hill33 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (2246)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

#17054303
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (7948)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)



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