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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML

#16732338
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (3878)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48196) - you deserved it (5572)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

#16314169
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (2775)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52583) - you deserved it (3725)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

#16020666
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (16187)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39109) - you deserved it (12190)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (54033)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

#15899408
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18691) - you deserved it (36513)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm - intimacy - by purrykitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

#15693901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (3573)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (13150)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26970) - you deserved it (6053)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

#15416169
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35000) - you deserved it (2824)

On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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