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FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

#21123309
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41081) - you deserved it (3533)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:36am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34427) - you deserved it (11730)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (14932)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46393) - you deserved it (5336)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

#21055534
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (3998)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by blushingbride - United States (Georgia)

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37083) - you deserved it (6480)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47256) - you deserved it (7010)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38703) - you deserved it (10482)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49190) - you deserved it (8384)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (7362)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53240) - you deserved it (11427)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54210) - you deserved it (4841)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (19873)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)



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