FMLs submitted from Georgia

Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML

by American Idiot / 09/20/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML

by anon / 08/30/2016 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

by lonelyheart4ever / 08/12/2016 at 9:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was sitting on the floor petting my cat. Something that felt like a rock was jabbing into my leg so I reached down to remove it. It was an ancient, rock-hard piece of dung. FML

by sw2f2fchik612 / 08/03/2016 at 10:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized I got more birthday wishes from people checking my ID for alcohol purchases than from friends. FML

by taroschain / 07/30/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 22 hours running around the hospital, I found some time to sit still and have a sandwich. My attending physician walked by and commented that I must not have enough work to do. The same person who 12 hours ago said finding time to eat was a skill, since I was eating on the go. FML

by AverageAvarice / 07/07/2016 at 4:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, our e-mail server went down. When I called IT to find out what the status was, they told me they e-mailed everyone with an update. FML

by Butch / 07/04/2016 at 1:19pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I'm stuck in a ramshackle house that my aunt bought and moved everyone out to. Only one bathroom works, and she won't let us flush it because the house keeps flooding. Four people are stuck here with just one toilet filled with poop and urine, while she's been staying at a friend's house. FML

by queenariii / 06/28/2016 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, as I entered our narrow hallway while leaving the bathroom, my belt loop caught on the knob of a nearby closet. My husband had to come and rescue me as I hung there, my ass in the air. FML

by Dangling / 06/20/2016 at 11:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

by Daddy / 06/02/2016 at 4:04am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2016 at 12:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy