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FMLs submitted from Gauteng

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (43890)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14984) - you deserved it (55910)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (40597)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was looking online for an alternative number for the interior decorator that is making curtains for me because I couldn't get hold of him. Instead of his number I found a website warning people about him, saying he is a conman. I paid a very big deposit. FML

#2302399
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (16439)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:48am - money - by Screwed (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40494) - you deserved it (3052)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

#1688990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (12542)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38621) - you deserved it (15380)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

#85047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48634) - you deserved it (1677)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:30am - work - by Noname (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was getting hot, so I jumped, naked, into the pool. As soon as I got in, it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML

#2492
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12627) - you deserved it (13436)

On 01/25/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by hailedout - South Africa (Gauteng)



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