FMLs submitted from Gauteng

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

by jasonvanr / 05/10/2016 at 4:19am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, after working my ass off for months trying to prove myself, I received an email from my boss regarding the end-year function. Excited to be invited, I opened the email just to see I'm the only one being left behind to answer the phones. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2015 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML

by paaaallllmmmssss / 09/25/2015 at 11:40pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

by sstahpp / 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML

by Tattoo_Freak / 08/14/2015 at 7:08am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

by ApparentlyBadDriver / 06/25/2015 at 6:10am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2015 at 6:05am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

by MoRuined / 10/09/2014 at 6:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

by thisismyawkwardface / 02/19/2014 at 2:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

by nana_star / 02/14/2014 at 2:59am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

by Norvi / 09/14/2013 at 1:51am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.