Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Gauteng

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21458540
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18946) - you deserved it (4742)

On 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by sstahpp (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML

Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

#21431656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (22137)

On 06/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by ApparentlyBadDriver - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33175) - you deserved it (4931)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (3642)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51750) - you deserved it (4613)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

#21065212
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40689) - you deserved it (11049)

On 02/19/2014 at 2:17am - misc - by thisismyawkwardface (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

#20835323
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42617) - you deserved it (6356)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by cookiemonster (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49572) - you deserved it (26984)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: