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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Gauteng

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862 (381)

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (12399) - you deserved it (32692)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (32984) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML

#15824008 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (2496)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:12pm - love - by dumped (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

#15467016 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (3149)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm - kids - by Angie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

#14223629 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (1588)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (16089) - you deserved it (2651)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

#12820970 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (1782)

On 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm - misc - by Sally19863 - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (12708) - you deserved it (2901)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

#8889347 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (2580)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jess (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

#8331914 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (13422) - you deserved it (3242)

On 02/16/2010 at 5:46am - work - by MikeIsMaster (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (4633) - you deserved it (21724)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (32620) - you deserved it (1380)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)