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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31429) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (5975)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (11132)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39485) - you deserved it (4380)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got in trouble for going to work sick. Yesterday, I got in trouble for not going to work while sick. FML

#21322171
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (2160)

On 12/22/2014 at 4:36pm - work - by Mandy - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (4733)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34189) - you deserved it (2668)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

#21317643
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (6587)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:50pm - money - by dawg - United States (Florida)

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (2514)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (5554)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML

#21315807
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (3094)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:17pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (3122)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)



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