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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (12957)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29299) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35732) - you deserved it (3746)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (3195)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (5432)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

#21273859
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32793) - you deserved it (3280)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

#21269595
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by Vkaz (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

#21265995
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (6112)

On 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm - money - by lgt5628 - United States (Florida)



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