Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (4234)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (5090)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

#13558
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by StupidCar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (2877)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46017) - you deserved it (13864)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (3926)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4677) - you deserved it (17456)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (2749)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

#1495
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: