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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

#100715
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (14699)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (4182)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (2168)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (57427)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (28479)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

#47505
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50068) - you deserved it (5876)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by miapapaya (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (7293)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (12559)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (4234)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (5095)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

#13558
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (4243)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by StupidCar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (2878)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)



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