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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (13859)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (3925)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4677) - you deserved it (17452)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (2747)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

#1495
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)



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