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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (28412)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

#47505
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (5872)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by miapapaya (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (2965)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (7286)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (12424)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38561) - you deserved it (4227)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (5087)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

#13558
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (4236)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by StupidCar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24220) - you deserved it (2874)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45954) - you deserved it (13840)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31476) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (3923)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)



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