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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML

#197849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (46644)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

#161850
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (3337)

On 02/28/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by AnnaMarie. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (42967)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML

#135625
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63615) - you deserved it (8170)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by notmyday (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML

#130566
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (2719)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Godfree (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

#122895
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44225) - you deserved it (4573)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

#110231
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14151) - you deserved it (36674)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (66171)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML

#102896
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (6750)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by SIK of everything (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

#100715
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34690) - you deserved it (14675)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38206) - you deserved it (2164)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (57374)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)



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