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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was in the middle of walking home when I saw an old woman trying to get away from what looked like a mugger. I go over and try to help her out and get the man off of her, which was successful. Turns out she was having a heart attack and the man was a doctor. FML

#1716877
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (14863)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by JuniorDetective (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

#1716313
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (61570)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by ummPORQUE (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change? Being a good man i said "sure." I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. As I walk into starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the casheir my fifty dollar bill, she called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML

#1611269
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (19406)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by supermanj76 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148555) - you deserved it (22041)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

#1509670
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57882) - you deserved it (10384)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML

#1475224
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60350) - you deserved it (4080)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by prego (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML

#1348524
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53166) - you deserved it (7003)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:47am - misc - by TheRawrza (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

#1341827
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45119) - you deserved it (7305)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by margretlle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51394) - you deserved it (4513)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (4494)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was pouring rain outside, I had 2 textbooks in my hands. I took a shortcut, and instead of running around the small pole that directed the line at the cafe, I decided to jump over it. In front of a group of guys, my foot got caught and I face planted with my books flying everywhere. FML

#1134670
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12092) - you deserved it (40289)

On 04/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the night and was really thirsty so I took a drink of water that had been sitting next to my bed for a few hours. After taking a huge gulp, I felt something strange in my mouth, ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up I saw all the ants that were floating in it. FML

#1110151
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51970) - you deserved it (12693)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Ihatebugs. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML

#1054756
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73367) - you deserved it (5714)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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