Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was excited about showing off my new haircut. All my friends thought it looked really good and it made me look older. What did my boyfriend think? He said I look like a little girl and he was afraid to kiss me in public because he didn't want someone to think he was a pedophile. FML

#3232883
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (6715)

On 06/26/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by stupidgirlll - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36955) - you deserved it (2374)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

#3205255
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (6387)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by smallmediumatlrg (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

#3110459
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (44626)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:06am - animals - by Ketchup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39211) - you deserved it (5472)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

#2959965
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (4134)

On 06/17/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by rileym797 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

#2867945
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (7948)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML

#2793513
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48234) - you deserved it (14926)

On 06/11/2009 at 2:12am - love - by seablue (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

#2785854
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54174) - you deserved it (4497)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46560) - you deserved it (2727)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

#2652874
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50221) - you deserved it (20743)

On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

#2624413
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58825) - you deserved it (4249)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by shescomfortablynumb (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: