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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

#7255903
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (37385)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by ishouldntdrink (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9549) - you deserved it (29595)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML

#7201019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (43044)

On 01/07/2010 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

#7181170
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:19pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (3530)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (3298)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (11041)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

#6990469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (6753)

On 12/28/2009 at 9:00am - love - by For (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14432) - you deserved it (27911)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML

#6958051
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (2218)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by DeannaMarie - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (90421)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

#6931978
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5179)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)



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