Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70661) - you deserved it (3718)
On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15911) - you deserved it (41246)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (2628)
On 02/28/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by AnnaMarie. (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14982) - you deserved it (38378)
On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56793) - you deserved it (7022)
On 02/25/2009 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by notmyday (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (2149)
On 02/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Godfree (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10928) - you deserved it (29876)
On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21909) - you deserved it (60459)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (5658)
On 02/22/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by SIK of everything (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (12160)
On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (3069)
On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (1649)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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