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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

Today, I received a call offering me a job with the census bureau. I applied for this job 6 months ago while I was still fighting tooth and nail to stay where I was. Since I didn't get the job, I was evicted from my apartment, got on public assistance, and moved from North Carolina to Florida with my mother. FML

#6245909
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (2233)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:04pm - work - by GillyPirate (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (3766)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (6668)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (4834)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8655) - you deserved it (26875)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34972) - you deserved it (2638)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (9074)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

#5957888
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35338) - you deserved it (5716)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by ihatemylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

#5933276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (8990)

On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6993) - you deserved it (152318)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)



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