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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13679) - you deserved it (23379)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (3718)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (3016)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (3492)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28206) - you deserved it (7192)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

#8510516
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (4271)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (5351)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26101) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (3588)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (2681)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (4924)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and takes us to Chuck E. Cheese. FML

#7908561
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (5168)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

#7900233
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11114) - you deserved it (59875)

On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)



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