FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

by WTF?!?! / 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

by kaytay2469 / 09/05/2010 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

by yggiz / 08/29/2010 at 1:02am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

by doesntkissalot / 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

by coffee / 08/22/2010 at 12:27am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

by justmylife / 08/21/2010 at 12:05am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

by becca / 08/21/2010 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

by notyoueallie / 08/20/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous