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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant. As I was leaving, I get a text from the birthday girl's boyfriend saying that it was cancelled. Hungry, I decided to go to that particular restaurant anyway. Turns out the party wasn't cancelled. Half the party just didn't want me there. FML

#5768887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (3781)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

#5733211
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (3551)

On 10/09/2009 at 12:22am - love - by rhythmbandit (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

#5719271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9061) - you deserved it (46147)

On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48475) - you deserved it (3929)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 9 year old little sister is coming back in town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

#5620917
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6443) - you deserved it (54417)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by deadfish - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

#5594181
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (3779)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:43pm - animals - by catstew (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (3354)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

#5579057
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (4489)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38256) - you deserved it (4789)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it is my three-year-anniversary with my boyfriend. I asked if he had planned anything for us, and he said yes. My parents volunteered to watch our daughter, I got all excited, and apparently our "plans" are to watch a football game. What do I get to do? Make sandwiches. For him. FML

#5484515
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (7845)

On 09/26/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Amberizzle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

#5470398
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8962) - you deserved it (48453)

On 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by MyLyfeSux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

#5424504
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (8188)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:10am - love - by Riskreh (woman) - United States (Florida)



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