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FMLs submitted from Florida

Yesterday, A Moter And Son Were In My Office . Te Kid Wasn't Feeling Well And Trew Up . Mom Coverd Is Mout Wit Er And, Creating A Vomit Nozzle And Covering Me In Puke . Se Yelld Tat I Deservd To Be Sprayd On Because I Was Not Quick Enoug In Getting A Bucket 4 Er Son . FML

#6779433
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33490) - you deserved it (2250)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about mah obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29765) - you deserved it (2970)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

#6746547
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - money - by Cathy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, Mah Friend An I Got Really Drunk At The Holiday Staff Party. When I Went To Work Afterwards, Everyone Gave Me The Death Stare. Apparently, I Got So Drunk That I Flashed Mah Boss' 13 Year Old Son. Mega FML

#6724461
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6324) - you deserved it (43420)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been getting calls from a werd kid from mah school asking fir nudes. I askd how he got mah number, then found out that mah friends puttd mah number on a pole at school saying ( Call Wendy fir a good time, she has nice tits ). FML

#6719670
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY , I MET A GIRLHO'S THEHOLE PACKAGE: BRAINS , BEAUTY , SHARD INTERESTS , GREAT PERSONALITY , SINGLE , AN INTO ME . TOO BAD I MARRID MY BITCHY , DEPRESSIVE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIENDHO SAID SHE'D KILL HERSELF IF I DIDN'T . SOMETIMES , SHE STILL TELLS ME SHE'LL DO IT IF WE DIVORCE . I BELIEVE HER . FML

#6677904
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (21838)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to ask mah parents fir advice on how to get mah ex-girlfriend back . I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well . I don't think I should ask fir advice anymore . FML

#6669217
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (2223)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today... I went to te ice cream sop after dinner. I am deatly allergic to nuts so I picked te vanilla. I take one bite an feel someting cruncy... an seeat I tougt was an almond in te cup. I spit out te icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroac. FML

#6665762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43871) - you deserved it (2280)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today , I want to mah grandmothar's housa to pick up har cat 4 tha vat. Sha forgotho I was and sprayad ma in tha faca with pappar spray. FML

#6658784
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (1981)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today after complaining to the administration about mah roommate I finally got switched!! As I went into the room to meet mah new roommate I found out he was mah old roommate's brother!! They r exactly the same an I'm not allowed to switch again!! FML

#6649432
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by mylifesuckssomuch3214 (man) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, my 15 year old son told me he had his frst kiss . I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, an then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood an college life . Truth is, I made them all up . I didn't get kissed till I was 24, an laid till I was 28 . FML

#6633448
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34009) - you deserved it (12463)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm - kids - by Sadface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend an I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walkd at least a mile from our parking space an stood in line fir two hours. My friend was supposd to have the ticket in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. real FML

#6626630
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (4474)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by musiclover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , I stopped looool by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store , a man came up behind me , hit me with a crowbar , and stole my gun. FML

#6602015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34022) - you deserved it (13526)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)



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