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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (6250)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (3235)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

#6141684
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (4628)

On 11/03/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by scaryhairy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8566) - you deserved it (26662)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (2456)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (8962)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to remind my roommates of the importance of wearing clothing at all times in the common living area. My roommates are my parents. FML

#5957888
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (5429)

On 10/23/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by ihatemylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

#5933276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (8958)

On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6894) - you deserved it (149204)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML

#5899039
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (15310)

On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (30560)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

#5851790
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (3319)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:22pm - work - by cbrocks (man) - United States (Florida)



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