Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52476) - you deserved it (3741)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by shescomfortablynumb (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (13611)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (4222)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:11am - kids - by cgregg01 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom told me I was worthless and could not do anything by myself. Determined to prove her wrong I attempted to install the AC that I had neglected to put in for the past month. While placing it on the window it fell through landing on her prized roses and breaking into pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (10879)
On 06/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39817) - you deserved it (3138)
On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (45247)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, we had to have our vet put our horse down. Afterwards we were discussing burial options. We then find the cat with a broken neck. Had to have her put down also. Now we have animal services questioning us for animal abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (2409)
On 05/30/2009 at 1:48am - health - by farmwithnobarn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (5435)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:59am - money - by alynn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (35815)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44948) - you deserved it (2387)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (34587)
On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (28699)
On 05/25/2009 at 3:45pm - animals - by duderboi99 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46577) - you deserved it (15162)
On 05/25/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by alsayslegit (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
