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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53302) - you deserved it (2786)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

#6487113
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (2266)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

#6451435
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (25176)

On 11/25/2009 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by NotSoSexy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

#6449433
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (4768)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:39pm - love - by CombatShadow45 - United States (Florida)

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

#6447194
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (2714)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by saywhatnow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (13433)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (6789)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

#6326207
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (5220)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:12pm - love - by TLT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31565) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

Today, I received a call offering me a job with the census bureau. I applied for this job 6 months ago while I was still fighting tooth and nail to stay where I was. Since I didn't get the job, I was evicted from my apartment, got on public assistance, and moved from North Carolina to Florida with my mother. FML

#6245909
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (2115)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:04pm - work - by GillyPirate (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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