FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

by anonomous / 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

by Disgusted / 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

by imsadnow / 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

by Florida_1827 / 01/28/2011 at 5:54am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

by Azure_Mist / 01/27/2011 at 5:53pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2011 at 8:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

by sunshine19217 / 01/18/2011 at 6:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

by shadowsonicstar / 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

by worksux / 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

by x_udontknowme_x / 01/05/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

by ouch / 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I am pregnant, sober, designated driver, and puke cleaner. Yay for the New Year! FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2011 at 1:08am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous