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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (32176)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49978) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41189) - you deserved it (7235)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40771) - you deserved it (4368)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (41273)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59569) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (16178)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50854) - you deserved it (4179)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42982) - you deserved it (11619)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)



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