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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (3773)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (1632)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4am; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

#21440806
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (2354)

On 07/13/2015 at 12:39am - animals - by 4am blues - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

#21440426
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (2189)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

#21438040
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20742) - you deserved it (8136)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:20pm - misc - by HowToGetFired - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (2621)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

#21437044
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (2031)

On 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28694) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (1832)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (8654)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2633)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (2675)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)



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