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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#4481809
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/12/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by NoticeTheLackOfNumbers (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

#4451238
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55518) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm - work - by aw-wtf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a serious discussion with my girlfriend of 11 months. I broke the news that I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and I needed her support through my treatments. Ten minutes after, I receive a text saying that she can't endure the pain and stress that I'm causing her, and that we're done. FML

#4418486
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53991) - you deserved it (2021)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Very_Bad_Luck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

#4414579
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (9748)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm - health - by Ducati (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (2887)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

#4406173
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (45312)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:23am - health - by Brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

#4375044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (1780)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by dentistftw (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML

#4374994
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36870) - you deserved it (7898)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52883) - you deserved it (2423)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

#4342060
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54039) - you deserved it (6077)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

#4332436
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35695) - you deserved it (5307)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (2368)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

#4294865
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (2139)

On 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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