Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

#12257246
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (4880)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

#12218347
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (4857)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by college kid - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

#12071239
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34292) - you deserved it (4001)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:06pm - health - by fiery (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (7363)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (7370)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

#11906376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18661) - you deserved it (23643)

On 07/15/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by darthinvader (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

#11894871
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12148) - you deserved it (24402)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

#11251365
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37065) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Blank (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

#11166091
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (42865)

On 06/13/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by jonjon (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

#11001063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (2613)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by justdancebbyx3 (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: