Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37116) - you deserved it (9798)
On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (6618)
On 08/31/2009 at 11:56pm - love - by MenSuck (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (1686)
On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6745) - you deserved it (63869)
On 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Bee (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37852) - you deserved it (6094)
On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my little sister recieved a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and says,"Cant you just act pretty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33436) - you deserved it (3823)
On 08/26/2009 at 4:31pm - kids - by yummolives (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (4362)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26838) - you deserved it (2784)
On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4206) - you deserved it (39747)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by chacha_bby - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back and hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4307) - you deserved it (27218)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:08pm - misc - by Susan (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (3037)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Idontdance (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (1280)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year old daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "the talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (4550)
On 08/20/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by airplanes-suck (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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