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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9488) - you deserved it (23466)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (3620)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (8303)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (4438)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14164) - you deserved it (45133)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

#7255903
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6136) - you deserved it (34127)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by ishouldntdrink (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (3643)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (26123)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML

#7201019
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5376) - you deserved it (39298)

On 01/07/2010 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

#7181170
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:19pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (10106)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)



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