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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34407) - you deserved it (7523)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

#10707019
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (12382)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:29am - work - by Around - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML

#10656263
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (4625)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML

#10549258
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32798) - you deserved it (6326)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

#9138869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you deserved it (38165)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by Midge (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (4682)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (4100)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (1754)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (3370)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (3041)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

#8914143
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (44849)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by dream_girl_3 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11690) - you deserved it (20449)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)



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