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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70119) - you deserved it (4823)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

#16169430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16153) - you deserved it (36324)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Plasticface (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

#16162317
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (3989)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

#16158573
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (4331)

On 05/13/2011 at 2:47pm - money - by Catie - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (3529)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15682) - you deserved it (89170)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

#15919542
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34733) - you deserved it (3503)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

#15910570
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38595) - you deserved it (6665)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

#15900752
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12208) - you deserved it (33147)

On 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm - misc - by Niquesha (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my first day of work at my new job. They had a section in the parking lot for employees only, so I parked there. Apparently, my boss didn't recognize my car, and had it towed. FML

#15825152
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (3002)

On 04/17/2011 at 7:18pm - work - by sdgsfvbkuhkj (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML

#15784474
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61964) - you deserved it (4385)

On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML

#15740418
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (19640)

On 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Got_any_grapes1 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (71636)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)



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