Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14166) - you deserved it (35102)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

#12910984
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (4282)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by kaytay2469 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26528) - you deserved it (7498)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18110) - you deserved it (27489)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

#12786707
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30457) - you deserved it (5560)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11053) - you deserved it (25356)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (12697)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you deserved it (34106)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (2786)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (3419)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: