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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

#7516838
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7821) - you deserved it (29561)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (2376)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9441) - you deserved it (23405)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (8289)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35239) - you deserved it (4430)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (45011)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

#7255903
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5896) - you deserved it (33529)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by ishouldntdrink (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8032) - you deserved it (25897)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML

#7201019
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5155) - you deserved it (38536)

On 01/07/2010 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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