FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML

by Kelly / 10/02/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

by lyssamarie316 / 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

by Vxale / 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 10:26pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

by lexyloo / 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

by lpspann87 / 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

by fluke / 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

by .. / 09/13/2011 at 10:48am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous