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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super excited to open my presents, only to discover that everyone in my house had already opened their presents and gone to bed. FML

#6931978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (4492)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided I was going to do something nice for my parents for Christmas. So, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, baked cookies, and made them both Christmas cards. What did I get in return? They asked me to wrap my four year old sister's presents, and let me know I got nothing. FML

#6927228
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (1983)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by blkchkrm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

#6915702
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8293) - you deserved it (27422)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by FlGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18628) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

#6903052
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (1957)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

#6892202
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (2796)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

#6879441
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (9731)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:57am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister-in-law told me calmly that she never cared for me, likes her brother's ex more than me, and probably will always dislike me. It was our first serious conversation ever, that I initiated because I wanted to "maintain our great friendship." FML

#6790649
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (2233)

On 12/17/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

#6779433
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (2152)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (2784)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML

#6746547
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (4011)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - money - by Cathy (woman) - United States (Florida)



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