FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

by Andrew / 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

by stacyyvonne / 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

by scared / 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML

by Kelly / 10/02/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

by lyssamarie316 / 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

by Vxale / 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 10:26pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

by lexyloo / 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

by lpspann87 / 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Health