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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

#14718221
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (14337)

On 01/26/2011 at 8:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

#14664315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (3319)

On 01/21/2011 at 5:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

#14628920
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (8134)

On 01/18/2011 at 6:07pm - misc - by sunshine19217 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

#14569755
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (35019)

On 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by shadowsonicstar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

#14475268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36384) - you deserved it (3750)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

#14473900
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (3837)

On 01/05/2011 at 11:41am - work - by x_udontknowme_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (2611)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I am pregnant, sober, designated driver, and puke cleaner. Yay for the New Year! FML

#14418151
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25414) - you deserved it (6879)

On 01/01/2011 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend talked me into having drunk sex. Right after we started, my head hit a wall, knocking me out. I woke up to him taking pics of my tits. FML

#14417034
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34514) - you deserved it (11752)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Samantha - United States (Florida)

Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML

#14405301
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (30335)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I think my friends were trying to tell me something with all my Christmas gifts being mostly perfume, deodorant, and soap. FML

#14341536
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11025) - you deserved it (28012)

On 12/26/2010 at 1:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

#14279972
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (3392)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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