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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (122269)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57633) - you deserved it (3566)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

#17333290
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (3323)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

#17299203
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (5260)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Elizabeth (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (10178)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

#17254567
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (12282)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13876) - you deserved it (60644)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (3617)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML

#17236134
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (9176)

On 07/24/2011 at 12:22am - money - by Joe thomas - United States (Florida)

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

#17180663
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34419) - you deserved it (5604)

On 07/19/2011 at 6:57pm - love - by nickrick12 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

#17151333
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (8571)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11699) - you deserved it (41858)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21282) - you deserved it (49436)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)



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