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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (7488)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (27461)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

#12786707
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (5554)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10436) - you deserved it (24430)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33954) - you deserved it (12459)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6667) - you deserved it (34057)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (2782)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26161) - you deserved it (17418)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

#12283970
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8222) - you deserved it (50067)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

#12257246
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (4866)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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