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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (2702)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (3143)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (6688)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

#8510516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (3916)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28190) - you deserved it (4848)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (3017)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (3237)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17067) - you deserved it (4293)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and takes us to Chuck E. Cheese. FML

#7908561
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (4721)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

#7900233
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9408) - you deserved it (54772)

On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4378) - you deserved it (42905)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (2498)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)



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