Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50025) - you deserved it (8045)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (8970)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML

#15324992
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:35pm - misc - by blk8764 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

#15308745
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46967) - you deserved it (14041)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by way of making me an account on an online dating site. He then emailed me the account information and left. FML

#15308003
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/14/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (12511)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

#15240526
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19319) - you deserved it (34143)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37559) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

#15141263
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42962) - you deserved it (13081)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

#14882919
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (4181)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by anonomous - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

#14831620
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (9751)

On 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm - animals - by Disgusted - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

#14788536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (6834)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

#14740703
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (4188)

On 01/28/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Florida_1827 (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: