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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (1707)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (3358)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (3029)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

#8914143
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6520) - you deserved it (44752)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by dream_girl_3 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11643) - you deserved it (20378)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22037) - you deserved it (3319)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (2704)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (6692)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

#8510516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (3047)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (3268)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)



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