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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML

#16478261
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (4295)

On 06/03/2011 at 1:16am - health - by JefferyT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML

#16382753
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (4395)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:54am - love - by fedemere - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML

#16322512
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40686) - you deserved it (4268)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by nr1234 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (19000)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34098) - you deserved it (6578)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69088) - you deserved it (4751)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

#16169430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15701) - you deserved it (35579)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Plasticface (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

#16162317
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (3829)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

#16158573
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (4261)

On 05/13/2011 at 2:47pm - money - by Catie - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (3458)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (87777)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

#15919542
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (3432)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

#15910570
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (6572)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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