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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3604) - you deserved it (40297)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46307) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

#7568071
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4824) - you deserved it (26480)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by lala (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35728) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

#7516838
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7266) - you deserved it (28053)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by fisherman - United States (Florida)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (2081)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (2154)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8914) - you deserved it (22428)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (7693)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (4131)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (43712)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)



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