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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (4701)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

#13653638
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (3706)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (11615)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

#13613595
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10684) - you deserved it (23803)

On 10/27/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

#13612177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (7262)

On 10/27/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by Sean - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

#13599206
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (8115)

On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

#13590794
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (3807)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm - intimacy - by shiznit - United States (Florida)

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

#13565475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/23/2010 at 6:11pm - work - by level6 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

#13555511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8070) - you deserved it (31896)

On 10/22/2010 at 10:15pm - work - by qhu - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

#13496435
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (4817)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:27am - work - by ktwithaq (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46802) - you deserved it (3632)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34994) - you deserved it (3065)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

#13459715
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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