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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

#10707019
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (12347)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:29am - work - by Around - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML

#10656263
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (4607)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML

#10549258
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31914) - you deserved it (6221)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

#9138869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (38017)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by Midge (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31708) - you deserved it (4586)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (5348)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (1707)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19253) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (3023)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

#8914143
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6513) - you deserved it (44684)

On 03/08/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by dream_girl_3 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11454) - you deserved it (20095)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21994) - you deserved it (3317)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)



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