Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

#17180663
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33522) - you deserved it (5498)

On 07/19/2011 at 6:57pm - love - by nickrick12 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

#17151333
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (8436)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (40940)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (48580)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (7813)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after 8 years in exceptionally difficult veterinarian classes which put me $200,000 in debt, and 7 months of job searching, I finally got a job. I will be inspecting feces for worms while making minimum wage. FML

#17036883
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36158) - you deserved it (5322)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:59am - work - by dsbass09 - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43033) - you deserved it (3375)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

#16851607
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29760) - you deserved it (4518)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (5381)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I was one point away from passing a state science exam. FML

#16697942
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (10243)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

#16644448
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (6526)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

#16628942
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32206) - you deserved it (10204)

On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

#16598107
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12105) - you deserved it (38272)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: