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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3509)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30510) - you deserved it (6406)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

#13857335
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (4669)

On 11/15/2010 at 9:02pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

#13850152
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (4811)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (49959)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

#13799925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6745) - you deserved it (37532)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:34am - intimacy - by Caught (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9197) - you deserved it (38591)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (4697)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

#13653638
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (11611)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

#13613595
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10676) - you deserved it (23792)

On 10/27/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

#13612177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25199) - you deserved it (7253)

On 10/27/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by Sean - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

#13599206
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (8106)

On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)



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