FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML

by SakuraFubuki92 / 03/11/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

by Blueshock08 / 02/23/2012 at 2:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

by Lonely Gay / 02/22/2012 at 4:37am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

by annoym / 02/21/2012 at 6:49am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.