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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (2941)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

#16851607
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (3945)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I was one point away from passing a state science exam. FML

#16697942
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (9439)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

#16644448
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (6068)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

#16628942
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (9458)

On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

#16598107
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (35148)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML

#16478261
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (3905)

On 06/03/2011 at 1:16am - health - by JefferyT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML

#16382753
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (3998)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:54am - love - by fedemere - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML

#16322512
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (3803)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by nr1234 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (17341)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (5824)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57439) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)



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