Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

#17834282
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (5127)

On 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm - love - by lexyloo - United States (Florida)

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

#17822826
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2196)

On 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

#17817623
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (47811)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (39646)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

#17735625
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22167) - you deserved it (3564)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39242) - you deserved it (7094)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

#17712418
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (2883)

On 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

#17646156
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (4226)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

#17639388
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/01/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Starving Ultimatum (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (1733)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

#17632627
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (3954)

On 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm - money - by anti88 (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: