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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62373) - you deserved it (4619)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (9420)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

#18110150
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (8083)

On 10/30/2011 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9971) - you deserved it (180426)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (44745)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

#18070147
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (3772)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:10am - love - by SNBBFF - United States (Florida)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49946) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (3122)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (11780)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)



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