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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (2562)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5418)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (41113)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (5024)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (5491)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

#18261463
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (2441)

On 11/16/2011 at 1:32am - work - by nyatzz - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28674) - you deserved it (3516)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62413) - you deserved it (4622)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

#18136317
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (9424)

On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

#18110150
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (8158)

On 10/30/2011 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (181021)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)



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