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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (3185)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8889) - you deserved it (44689)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36410) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (3257)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (2972)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

#18402392
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (3313)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9641) - you deserved it (41091)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (5024)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)



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