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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

#18811702
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (3803)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (4306)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (7821)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML

#18675762
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (3560)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

#18650592
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23781) - you deserved it (5844)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML

#18646853
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (2616)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by naomids (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

#18624537
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (2676)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

#18613200
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by Holly Jolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

#18604441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (4420)

On 12/25/2011 at 2:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (5645)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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