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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (5750)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17135) - you deserved it (30976)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

#18842553
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18344) - you deserved it (5943)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:15am - work - by Lyn (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35173) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

#18811702
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (4109)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (3800)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (4303)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26414) - you deserved it (7818)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML

#18675762
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (3558)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

#18650592
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (5842)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML

#18646853
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31496) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by naomids (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

#18624537
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (2675)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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