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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18272) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51206) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

#18402392
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20963) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17373) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (5089)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9152) - you deserved it (39393)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (4887)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (4160)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

#18261463
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/16/2011 at 1:32am - work - by nyatzz - United States (Florida)



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