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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21609) - you deserved it (3269)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7660) - you deserved it (24758)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (2865)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (31343)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (2554)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

#19137276
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (4744)

On 02/22/2012 at 4:37am - love - by Lonely Gay (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

#19129747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15062) - you deserved it (11675)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:49am - work - by annoym - United States (Florida)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (4414)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (2516)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (2139)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

#18934570
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19234) - you deserved it (5987)

On 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Username - United States (Florida)



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