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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9957) - you deserved it (61255)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (2399)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

#19276997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (3290)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7670) - you deserved it (24786)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38814) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (31375)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

#19137276
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (4748)

On 02/22/2012 at 4:37am - love - by Lonely Gay (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

#19129747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15085) - you deserved it (11683)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:49am - work - by annoym - United States (Florida)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (4419)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML



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