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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41670) - you deserved it (4533)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38966) - you deserved it (4011)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59865) - you deserved it (10838)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (4931)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (6015)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (30760)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (2563)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (4719)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (23204)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

#20535215
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (3711)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by seriously wtf (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33269) - you deserved it (3619)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (3502)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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