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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8346) - you deserved it (104587)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (40311)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

#19731435
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (6122)

On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

#19720443
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13902) - you deserved it (36465)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

#19688596
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (31563)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by taylortotscx - United States (Florida)

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

#19678592
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (5253)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (3614)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

#19554297
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10337) - you deserved it (37171)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

#19552160
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12391) - you deserved it (24458)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:24am - work - by zomg - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

#19548071
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (2511)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

#19545053
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (27756)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by faux ma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

#19527572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (1956)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (2679)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)



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