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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (46909)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (8059)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32933) - you deserved it (2021)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

#19997087
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (2116)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (2986)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

#19985315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20354) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (7208)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (2660)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (2047)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

#19937042
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (1797)

On 07/14/2012 at 12:46pm - money - by Natalie - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (5641)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (8024)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (104559)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)



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