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FMLs submitted from Florida

today mah boss took me to one side and said, ( Cross me like that ever again, and your frd. ) I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to looool me. fat FML

#20882475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (2557)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm - work - by what... (man) - United States (Florida)

TADAY I WAS STANDING IN LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE WAITING 4 MY HUSBAND. AFTER A WHILE, I FEEL HIM KISSING MY NECK, SO I TURN TO TELL HIM THAT IT'S APPROPRIATE IN PUBLIC. IT WASN'T MY HUSBAND. MEGA FML

#20878205
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58486) - you deserved it (4181)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having recently told 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57417) - you deserved it (9340)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, ma obese moter-in-law took er top off at our pool party, exposing er sagging breasts. Wen I told er to cover erself, se liftd er breasts, turnd tem inwards, and squeezd tem togeter wile staring me in te eyes. looool Se kept doing tis on and off fir te next two ours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (4630)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

yesterday mah girlfriend broke up with me through mah birthday card. FML

#20871364
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62979) - you deserved it (3705)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today... I got a message from mah teacher about mah homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped mah grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two yeres. FML

#20869277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (3225)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I Was Asked To Dumb Myself Down So The People I Was Training Could Comprehend Wat I Was Saying. Big Fat FML

#20868484
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (6498)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:57am - work - by Retarded (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , trying to impress my in-laws , I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at there house. When I got there , I gave the bottle to my looool wife's mother. Later , my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. mega FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37941) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with yur grlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56472) - you deserved it (4083)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me 4 not getting any work done. FML

#20849629
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37004) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by lord kuntface (man) - United States (Florida)

TODAY , I GOT REJECTD FIR A JOB CUZ THEY CLAIMD I FAKD MAH ENTIRE RESUME. THEIR EXCUSE? I'M TOO PRETTY TO BE SMART.

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (4311)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I receivd a text saying, "I don't think we should be friend anymore . You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followd by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is 4 you" . FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (4493)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the gymhen I noticd a girl I lyk working out on the elliptical . I went to go say hi, but chickend out an went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead . I was so nervous that I trippd an the machine threw me headfirst into her machine . FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (8103)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)



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